Beggars Can Be Choosers

We've all heard the old adage "beggars can't be choosers" but have you ever tested it to see if it holds true?

In my experience, the people who cross my path that fit the description of beggars often embody many of the stereotypes. They look unkempt, their eyes are blurry and unfocused, they smell bad. Don't judge a book by its cover, right? Well, that may be, but once one reads a book or at least takes a glance at its contents it seems to me that there are several conclusions one may come to:

-is this persons dangerous?
-does this person do drugs?
-does this person drink alcohol in excess?
-do they appear to be in their right mind?
-do they have a history of family and relational hardships?
-are they simply taking advantage of others' compassion? others' guilt?
-are they good people?
-is their situation a result of outside influences alone, or are they also responsible?

Almost always on the last question i tend to find that both the person and their life circumstances are responsible. Perhaps the loss of a brother or close friend was a bit too much for the person to bear. Perhaps they prefer the freedom of life on the streets to the rules and restrictions of a household. Perhaps they chose their situation. Perhaps they didn't. It could be laziness, it could be lack of a good night's sleep or availability of a hot shower--a few things which could make or break a person during a job interview or just another day on the job. Have you ever considered how easily that person could be you?

Inevitably, whether the story is just in their head or not, homeless people have a sad story to tell. Their mother died. They lost all their relatives. Conspiracy made them lose their job. Their addiction drove them to poverty. "Can you spare some change?" they might ask. If you try to buy them food, they often refuse it, and the obvious assumption is that they want money for booze or drugs. Some are even so bold (or desensitized) as to write, "I won't lie, it's for beer!" on a cardboard sign. Is this supposed to elicit compassion from us?

Recently both my wife and i have spent some time talking with a local homeless man who spends his time outside of the library or on the street across the train tracks. He has a sad story. He lost his job during the Vietnam era and did odd jobs for a while before becoming homeless who knows how many years ago. Apparently he went on welfare and was going to be charged with welfare fraud, but the charges were dropped or didn't go through. Now he is on the Social Security system since he's now a senior citizen. He spends his time out in the cold, rain, mist, heat, whatever. He seems to be a pretty intelligent guy, up to date on current news and rather aware of the geography and history of the world from what we can tell. So how did he end up in the position he's in? My wife says that he's a rich homeless guy, and i think she's right. She said he told her that he doesn't ask people for money, only specific items that he needs, including food. He has money and he buys luggage to store his stuff and clothes to keep him warm. Whatever he needs except a place to stay, i guess. He has money in his pocket and an up-to-date calendar.

Yesterday as we were walking home from the downtown area, we saw him sitting on a concrete bench across the train tracks. My wife thought she'd make him a grilled cheese sandwich and asked if i'd deliver it to him. Of course i would. So i went over there and started up a conversation with him. Asked him his name, how he was doing, and had he eaten lunch yet? No, he says, the place across the street is closed. I offer him the sandwich and he says no, that will make him hungry. What?! Eating food will make you hungry? Interesting. He proceeds to tell me about the great deli sandwiches at Safeway, the ones with turkey and lettuce and tomato and avocado and ranch dressing. It did sound really great. He also told me about how his friend takes him to Fresh Choice, a buffet-style restaurant with a complete salad bar and many hot-plate entrees. He crooned over the merits of meat and bean soup at Safeway, not in the small container, but the large container. He also likes Boston Market and he eats Sun Chips (but not grilled cheese). And his birthday is coming up in a few days. And also could we get him some new, springier bungee cords to hold his stuff together? And the plastic bags from the local bookstore are the best for storing things because they are sturdy.

I sat there talking with him for maybe an hour or so, and he was an interesting guy and certainly a good conversationalist. He talked about how he was trying to get a studio apartment in a nearby city and how he had had difficulties in the past because getting an apartment would have disqualified him from his Social Security check or something like that. A friend of a friend he knows is influential in the low-income housing market. The friend supposedly came to talk to him one day about getting an apartment, but couldn't wake him! The man told me his friend kicked him and tried to wake him up but couldn't. Said he must have been really tired and he had missed his opportunity. He talked about professional sports players and their follies as well as the recent tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo and its ramifications. Siberian tigers are much bigger than Bengal tigers, right?, 'cause they're up near Russia. He affirmed his own question...



...A week or so ago while we were in Orange County, a man approached us asking if i could spare any change. I told him i didn't have any, sorry, which was true at the moment. We walked down the street a bit more and he continued on that same side of the street after we crossed to get to where we were going. We got to our parked car and in the meantime he had crossed the street a block back and was approaching us again. "Hello again!" i said to him as he started to open his mouth. He looked a little confused and i wondered if he had forgotten our encounter only moments before. "Could you spare a little change?" he asked again. This time my wife, who was now on the phone, signaled to her purse out of which i drew some coins from her change bag. "Trying to catch a bus someplace?" i asked. "That too," he replied. That too? Like, in addition to trying to buy beer? I kept these musings to myself as he walked away. My wife called out, "Merry Christmas!" and he called back, "Merry Christmas to you! And God bless you!" He was very pleasant and cordial anyway. I wondered if we had offered to buy him food or transportation if he would have accepted that in lieu of the money?

I've heard it said that homelessness is not just a problem to be solved, but rather that the homeless are people, a community, people to enter into relationship with. This thought resonates with me, and i'm going to see if i can learn more about what it means in the coming year.

Still, in my most recent adventures in the Land of the Homeless, i have found that beggars can be choosers. And they often are. After all, who's going to tell them what they can and can't do? They're homeless! They can do what they want.


The Parable of the Sheep and Goats

Faith and Deeds

internet monk on panhandlers