What you might not know about this fellow, is that the craziness of his hair was not limited to that nest-like cascade coming off his noggin. Yes folks, it's true, he once showed me a hair on his pectoral region THAT WAS AT LEAST 2 and 1/2 INCHES LONG, POSSIBLY AS MANY AS 4 or 5 INCHES! (ok so those last numbers might be hyperbole...) Anyway, this thing was mean, it was grizzly, it was incognito (i think he had just discovered it and feared that it was a sign that he was slowly becoming a wizard).
Unfortunately, dear readers, i am less than pleased to report a travesty that has occurred in the arena of chest hair adventures. In tribute to said roommate, i had allowed--in my left pectoral region--a long, twisted hair to grow in hopes of outdoing my comrade. It was probably about 1 and 1/2 or 2 inches longs, grizzly, and black as ebony. Yesterday i had considered trimming the end to allow it to grow healthily since it had been a while since i noticed a definite increase in length of the hair. About ten minutes ago as i was coolly taking a shower, i looked down to check on my masterpiece of cultivation to discover to my horror:
THE HAIR WAS GONE!!!
FALLEN OUT!
DECEASED!
NO LONGER ATTACHED!
BUCKETS OF WOE!
Here is a photographic simulation of how long the hair would have been if it were still attached to my bodice:
Friend, crop of love, my competitive edge: you will be missed.
2 comments:
THIS IS THE SADDEST STORY!! :(
Buckets of woe :(
Even though I realize that this means you won't be able to gloat to me about having longer bodice hairs, I just can't seem to be happy about it. Mystery hairs are like the wind ... here one moment, and gone before you know it. *sigh*
Also, I was not worried that I was becoming a wizard, because that would have been awesome. I was worried that I might be developing hair cancer.
Yes, like the wind in my dreams.
Actually, eww gross!!!!!!!!
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